Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
