he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize