If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
