areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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