worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
