I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
