I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
