The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
