You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
