Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
