Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
