Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
