Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
