i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize