my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Bring me that man meat
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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