Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
