i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
