its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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