Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
