did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So vagazzling was a success
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
