I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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