Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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