someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
