yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
