I want to walk on stilts...naked
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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