even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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