Your mouth is God's brothel.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
