Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
