Say something about gay babies.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
