did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
