i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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