if only i could text you this smell
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
