Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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