four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
