hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
