So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
