Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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