So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
