Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
