Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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