You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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