1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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