You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
