What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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