found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My balls are so social today.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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