I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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