Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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