My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
