It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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