Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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