Im at strip club and am horny
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
