the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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