I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
