Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Randomize