Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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