You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
