he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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