fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I seem to have left my pride at pride
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
