Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize