i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
