batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
